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It makes me so hard to realize how vulnerable I might get myself into these days.
Well, it’s not "vulnerable" per se; I suppose that it makes me uneasy still when I’m afraid of not getting what I was expecting to receive. I suppose that I shouldn’t have carried too much expectation in the first place; however, I truly hope that there could be something else to look forward to, even such pleasure may not last as long as other sincere but decent actions might.
It’s quite bittersweet when I feel a bit uncomfortable but have to force myself to let go at the same time. It’s quite silly when no such statement was ever made to expect me not to show, but I know that I cannot be narrow-minded, and that’s why I have to make sure that no one else, even I, believes that it was a big deal once.
Cannot help wondering if it’s an accurate decision to keep this matter off the record. Of course I do foresee the pressure coming along with exposing it, so I guess such desire was inspired only because of stimulations these nights. However, would it make any difference anyway? Or was it simply because I’m afraid of having that déjà vu back into my life again? Gosh! Since when I become so eager to fight for my territory?
It was never my intention to cross out what I had no doubt with, and I hate making myself look like an idiot who worries about something minor. Nevertheless, I still have slight doubts about if such commitment can be promised from the other side, as either those unpleasant memories or pressure from the public can be the reason of disturbing this relationship. To be honest, I’m even not quite sure if other conflicting thoughts were involved when the territory-fighting action was presented.
Vulnerability and Toughness shall be able to coexist; I hope; I believe; I'm trying to make it come true.
Well, it’s not "vulnerable" per se; I suppose that it makes me uneasy still when I’m afraid of not getting what I was expecting to receive. I suppose that I shouldn’t have carried too much expectation in the first place; however, I truly hope that there could be something else to look forward to, even such pleasure may not last as long as other sincere but decent actions might.
It’s quite bittersweet when I feel a bit uncomfortable but have to force myself to let go at the same time. It’s quite silly when no such statement was ever made to expect me not to show, but I know that I cannot be narrow-minded, and that’s why I have to make sure that no one else, even I, believes that it was a big deal once.
Cannot help wondering if it’s an accurate decision to keep this matter off the record. Of course I do foresee the pressure coming along with exposing it, so I guess such desire was inspired only because of stimulations these nights. However, would it make any difference anyway? Or was it simply because I’m afraid of having that déjà vu back into my life again? Gosh! Since when I become so eager to fight for my territory?
It was never my intention to cross out what I had no doubt with, and I hate making myself look like an idiot who worries about something minor. Nevertheless, I still have slight doubts about if such commitment can be promised from the other side, as either those unpleasant memories or pressure from the public can be the reason of disturbing this relationship. To be honest, I’m even not quite sure if other conflicting thoughts were involved when the territory-fighting action was presented.
Vulnerability and Toughness shall be able to coexist; I hope; I believe; I'm trying to make it come true.
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